I debated writing about this for a little while but then
decided that it was important to share the bad stuff as well as the good. Every
representation of a year abroad on social media makes it look like every day is
the best day ever, and while most days are fantastic and I'm incredibly lucky
to be spending my year in Paris, I recently had my first bad day.
It was the first day that I felt homesick and I think that's because, a month in, Paris ceased to feel like a holiday and more like reality, and with the end of the 'holiday period', homesickness came. Anyone who knows me well, will know that my family are my entire life, so being away from them is difficult: we are so, so close and this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing them. Homesickness was something I was expecting and a feeling I am completely used to from my days at university however, it's worse here as I can't just pop home for the weekend to see everyone. The other thing is that I realised I was actually homesick for England: it's really strange doing day to day things like laundry, food shopping etc. in a foreign country and it was this first bad day that I realised how much I miss Blighty.
Another issue that I let get to me on this bad day, was feeling lonely. I am lucky enough to have been placed with a big group of girls, which begs the question, how can I be lonely? The truth is, something my mum always says, you can be lonely even if you’re not alone. The difficulty of the year abroad is that while you’re often surrounded by people, they’re not people you know well, and this can lead to feeling quite isolated.
It was the first day that I felt homesick and I think that's because, a month in, Paris ceased to feel like a holiday and more like reality, and with the end of the 'holiday period', homesickness came. Anyone who knows me well, will know that my family are my entire life, so being away from them is difficult: we are so, so close and this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing them. Homesickness was something I was expecting and a feeling I am completely used to from my days at university however, it's worse here as I can't just pop home for the weekend to see everyone. The other thing is that I realised I was actually homesick for England: it's really strange doing day to day things like laundry, food shopping etc. in a foreign country and it was this first bad day that I realised how much I miss Blighty.
Another issue that I let get to me on this bad day, was feeling lonely. I am lucky enough to have been placed with a big group of girls, which begs the question, how can I be lonely? The truth is, something my mum always says, you can be lonely even if you’re not alone. The difficulty of the year abroad is that while you’re often surrounded by people, they’re not people you know well, and this can lead to feeling quite isolated.
My first bad day ended in the best possible way: I phoned my mum. We spoke for over an hour and she did what she always does and put things into perspective for me. She made me realise that it’s okay to have bad days while I’m here, it’s okay to feel homesick or alone and that the main thing is to deal with it and move on. So, that’s what I did.
I’ve just got back from visiting one of my best friends in Bordeaux, which helped ease some of my homesickness and definitely stopped me feeling lonely. I’ve also realised since my first bad day that things aren’t as bad as they seemed. I’m living in a beautiful city with some of the loveliest girls ever and I need to just relax and enjoy it.
The negative feelings I felt on that day have since paled dramatically and I promise my next post will be much happier, detailing my adventures in Bordeaux and a Parisian Halloween.
Thank you for reading :)
Always here if you need me xx
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