The Unofficial Guide to being Parisian

I love the people of Paris and aspire to be as chic and poised as they are (no luck so far), but I haven’t been able to help noticing some of their funny, little quirks. I have only lived in Paris for four short months and therefore, I am in no way claiming to be an expert on this matter. I have not consulted any actual Parisians during the writing of this post and I certainly don’t intend for anybody to take these tips seriously. Finally, some, most, or even all of these points may apply to France in general, but as a lowly English person I am ignorant of this, so...deal with it. I have stayed away from the top three stereotypes - eat cheese, eat baguettes, drink wine. Though these are also essential. 

In no particular order:

1) Get a dog and take it everywhere

Parisians love their dogs. They take them shopping, to the hairdressers, everywhere!

2) Learn to speak sheep "baaah non!" "baaah ouais!"

If you want to be fluent in French 'bah' will pretty much get you there!

3) Go on strike 

It doesn't matter what job you have, or your reasoning. Strikes are a way of life.

4) Wear a scarf

Regardless of the season, a scarf is an essential part of any Parisian wardrobe.

5) Do everything with confidence

Whether it's leaping onto the metro before the doors shut or buying a baguette. Be like Tyra!

6) Don't go crazy with the make up 

Parisian women don't spend two hours caking on make up. Whack on some mascara and you're pretty much good to go. 

7) Don't smile too much...

Resting bitch face is perfectly acceptable here.

8) Don't make eye contact, especially on the metro

Only the crazy people look you in the eye...

There you have it guys, I'm sure I've missed lots out but tant pis! 

Thank you for reading

Bisous à tous

xxx

"She'd only gone and pooed her pants again..."

Hi everyone, 

It's been a busy week with lots of highs, and one quite considerable low.

Tuesday night I went for a drink (a tea, of course, silly Dry January) with a girl called Nastasia who I met Montpellier with Hannah. She’s French but her English is so perfect you’d think she’s American. It was great to have some conversation practise, as I don’t really get the chance that often. She was so interesting to talk to and she also spent a good couple of hours here at my flat showing me tons of authentic French singers, comedians, films and teaching me French slang. I appreciated this so much as, living with English people, I’ve not really experienced the French culture to the extent that I hoped I would. 

Wednesday day I got a text from Clémence’s mum that made my heart sink ‘pouvez-vous passer chez nous avant de récupérer Clémence et récupérer un collant? Elle a fait caca dans sa culotte…’ For the non-French speakers amongst you, I needed to go to Clémence’s house to pick up a clean pair of tights as she’d pooed herself at school. Bless. Luckily, I thought to pick up a spare pair of pants just in case though the school had put her in clean ones. When I arrived at Clémence’s school we went straight to the toilet to put on clean tights so she wouldn’t freeze to death. However, once in the toilet, Clémence pulled down her “clean” pants and said ‘regarde’ (look). She’d only gone and pooed her pants again and not told anyone. Good job I’d brought a spare pair. We (she) popped her dirty pants in a plastic bag and rushed back to mine where she washed her pooey little derrière. I supervised. 

Wednesday night was my second Drunk Writers' meeting - I was sober of course. It was such a fun night and I met lots of lovely, interesting people. The writing prompts were really stimulating and I left feeling very inspired. The warm up was to write something based on a random word our neighbour gave us. One exercise involved writing a story in six words, something Hemingway invented, and another was a two-sentence horror story. Here are some of my efforts (please bare in mind we only have five minutes per exercise and I haven’t edited anything).

-      The smell of sausage rolls, steak and kidney pies and Cornish pasties was overwhelming as she pushed open the ice-cold glass door and entered the shop. Trays upon trays of pies and pasties shone like a beacon after a hard day at the office; golden puffy cases with little cracks bursting with delicious filling that oozed out as if it wanted to say hello. The man behind the counter smiled warmly as she rubbed her numb hands together. “ It’s bloody freezing out there,” she laughed, “but I know exactly what will do the job. One of your yummy chicken and vegetable pasties please.”

The man’s smiled drooped slightly as he explained, “ I’m sorry, Miss, we’re all out of those…”

My word was savoury.

-         ‘Light footsteps. Whispered voices. They’re here.’

-         ‘Clock watching. Spoiled dinner. Stood up.’

I wasn’t very happy with my six word stories. Hemingway’s are much better.

-         Cosy in bed, I was starting to doze off when I felt the duvet lift and behind me    the mattress sank. I live alone.

My two-sentence horror story is based on a true event. For more creepy stories speak to my family!

January's Drunk Writers Meeting. Lovely people <3 

Since being here, we have befriended the twins that live on the second floor of our building. Their mum very kindly invited all nine of us round for dinner Friday night. It was the sweetest time ever. We had to speak in French all night which was great practise, the food was delicious, the company fantastic and we even had some entertainment in the way of piano playing and singing. The night was concluded with a game of Time’s Up which is a bit like Articulate, all in French of course. It was such a lovely experience and we’re planning on returning the favour by inviting the family over for afternoon tea!

Yesterday I went for lunch with Soph at a delicious vegetarian/vegan burger place called VG. The food was really tasty and reasonable considering it’s central Paris – a burger, side and a drink for 9,90€! It was great to catch up with Soph even though it wasn’t for very long as she was getting the train home to Reims. 

Last night, we went to a classical concert at the Musée d’Orsay which was something really different. The event was free and therefore unsurprisingly popular. The queue was pretty big when we arrived and the experience wasn’t improved by all the French people pushing in/sneaking friends in next to them. We British could teach them a thing or two about queue etiquette. Eventually we got in, were handed a cushion and directed to our spot. We were sat on the floor in the beautiful museum (it used to be a train station) listening to the equally beautiful music of the orchestra and I just felt so lucky to be able to experience such a special event. It only lasted an hour but we got a little bit lost on the way home, it did lead to my first tram ride in Paris though, so wasn’t all bad. 

And today has been a very typical Sunday. I got up late, tidied my room, wrote this and had a bath. School tomorrow but for once I’m not that bothered. The French, being French, are having a strike on Tuesday which means I have a two day week – heaven. Although, the plan for my year abroad assignment is due on the 29^th and I’m still not entirely sure what I’m doing so I’ll be working very hard on that. 

I hope you all had a good week, thank you for reading!

Bisous à tous xxx

Getting healthy here is hard...

If you read my last post you’ll know that I am trying to be much healthier in 2016 (and actually stick to it, unlike the previous five years!). I couldn't have chosen a worse country to change my habits though! Adapting a healthy lifestyle in any foreign country would be difficult but giving up dairy in the land of cheese is inadvisable. I've encountered a few other difficulties, so I thought I'd share them with you! 

1) What to do when wine is cheaper than water…

Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration but it is certainly not easy on your wallet doing Dry January in France. My first experience of this was in Montpellier where I paid 5€ for a mocktail in a bar, while the people around me were paying less for lager. To make matters worse, the French don’t really do non-alcoholic drinks very well: it’s fruit juice or a fizzy drink, both of which always cost the same if not more than alcohol. I miss all the exciting soft drinks that England has to offer and even the not so exciting but essential – soda. Soda is my go to drink at meals, nights out etc. and I miss it so much. Who'd a thunk it? 

2) Milk is in everything!?

Obviously France is the home of cheese and I now notice every fromagerie, but my other dairy related problem's aren't strictly France's fault. Until giving it up, I never really thought about how many things contained dairy. Of course, there are the obvious things like butter, cheese and cream. But over the last couple of weeks I’ve realised that I can’t eat cake, biscuits or yoghurts. This is probably good for my diet but is sad nonetheless. Luckily I’ve found some yummy replacements like hazelnut milk for my hot chocolates and cereal, and now I just munch on fruit or veg instead of biscuits.

      3) Why is eating healthily so darn expensive??

      I did a food shop yesterday that consisted largely of fruit and vegetables, some eggs and fish, some peanut butter (we’ll get back to that in a sec) and some cereal. It came to over 30€! The heartbreaking fact is that if I’d gone in and bought some pasta, some cheese, some crisps and chocolate, I’d have spent half of that. I am beginning to understand why people find it so hard to lose weight – it seems like the more calories something contains the cheaper it is. As for any rule, there is an exception and that is peanut butter: probably the little indulgence I allowed myself. It cost over 4€! The cost of nuts in France is nuts!

     4) Exercise is slowly, very slowly, becoming my friend :)

I’ve never liked exercising for the sake of exercising. I love dancing, playing football or going for a nice walk somewhere. So, trying to exercise here, around my busy schedule, was hard going at first. But, I’m getting there. I’ve been going swimming a few times a week, doing some workouts from home and the bike rides were supposed to start today. Me and Sapphire wanted to cycle to the Eiffel Tower and back but we needed to pay a 150€ deposit each for the hiring of a bike - what?! As neither of us have that kind of money hanging out in our bank account we decided to power walk there instead. It took us an hour and we did 10,000 steps! 

So, that's my life at the moment. It's tricky but going fairly well so far.

I hope all of your New Year's Resolutions are going as well!

Bisous à tous

xxx

New Year, New Me? Probably not!

Resolutions:

1. Get Healthy - no dairy, less gluten and a lot less alcohol
2. Learn to speak French...(bit awkward that this is necessary)
3. Sleep better
4. Travel more 
5. Be happy

So far these are going quite well...

I celebrated New Year in Strasbourg with Laura, Hannah and Ellie and we had an amazing few days, just what I needed to see 2016 in with style and so different to the year before! We didn’t actually ‘count down’ but at midnight we were in the square with everyone else drinking champagne and giving bises. There are apparently no rules about shooting fireworks into the crowd in France as we had to dodge a fair few rockets and fire crackers. We even saw parents showing children how to set fireworks off out of coke bottles! At 1am we got a free bus across the border to the little German town of Kehl to dance the night away. We stayed until 5 and I only spent 10 euros on club entry. A very successful New Year’s in my opinion.

Hannah, Laura, Me and Ellie ready to Partayyyy!

The first week back at school was always tough as a student. Let me tell you, it is much tougher as a teacher. I had to drag myself out of bed, despite my brand new resolution to always get a good night’s sleep and wake up full of beans ready to tackle my day head on. Everyone in the staff room happily wished me ‘bonne année’ but I could tell they all felt the same, completely gutted that the holidays were over already.

The one thing that got me through my first week back was that I was going on holiday! Thursday evening, I caught the train to Montpellier to meet Hannah for three days of sun filled fun. Our first night, we ate a feast of yummy dairy free treats (sticking to that New Year’s resolution) and chatted as if we’d not seen each other in ages (it had been four days…).  Friday we went shopping! Hannah’s suitcase was stolen over Christmas so we set about replacing all the clothes that she’d lost. I also picked up a few things in the sales like a pair of heeled suede boots for 20€!

Friday night we went to an unusual restaurant called playfood where all of the dishes are served in verrines (little glasses), which was certainly a culinary experience. It was the first meal I’d eaten out during dry January and it was strange drinking juice with a meal. Later on we met my friend Luke and his friends at a bar, had a dance and a couple of virgin cocktails. They also gave us an unintentional tour around the streets of Montpellier in search of a bar that wasn't bursting with people or shut. It was lovely to see someone from home in France, we’d both experienced the same highs and lows and it was reassuring to know it’s not just me!

Saturday we had a nice lie in and then went to the beach. It was beautiful. We sat in a beachfront café with a drink and watched the sun set while planning the rest of our lives. Hannah is so ambitious and driven that I’m always really inspired when I talk to her and I’ve now decided to do a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course over summer, which will hopefully help me to travel post graduation.

Speaking of exciting summer plans; I am spending May and June in Madagascar! It’s all happened quite quickly so I’m yet to get my head around it. But, I’m flying from Paris on 30^th April to the little island of Nosy Be and will be teaching English (because apparently I can’t get enough of it…).

The rest of our time there went far too quickly and before I knew it I was back here in Paris getting ready for another week of school. It’s taking a while to get back into the swing of things and I think a few early nights are definitely needed. But I’m determined to make the most of my last three months here. I want to experience more of the French culture, meet more French people and eat some more French food (which will admittedly be difficult considering the no meat, no dairy situation, less gluten and less alcohol situation).

I’m sorry if this post is a bit random, I wasn’t sure what to write about and I’m very tired. Next week I will try to write something a bit different. Thank you for reading!!

Bisous à tous xxx

Flying home for Christmas

First of all I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Second of all, I just want to apologise to my three dedicated readers for the lack blogposts: I decided to make the most of my short holiday by not writing. To be honest, even if I’d wanted to do a post the internet in our village is not conducive to uploading anything and I didn’t even bother to take my laptop home. But I’m back in Paris now armed with speedy wi-fi and a serviceable laptop so I thought I’d fill you guys in on my short but absolutely wonderful Christmas in Bristol.

I’d been looking forward to going home since the 27^th September (the day my parents left Paris) but when the day finally came I think I was in denial, I wasn’t letting myself get too excited because I had a feeling something was bound to go wrong. Turns out the only slight problems were a 40 minute delay at Charles de Gaulle and an overly chatty little boy sat next to me. Once I'd landed and collected my suitcase, the happiness I felt when I saw my dad waiting for me at arrivals isn’t easy to describe, it felt so right to be home and after so long away I was determined to make the most of my 10 day stay.

Dad drove around most of Bristol trying to find a Fish and Chip Shop because I said I’d been craving it but unfortunately due to my delayed flight everywhere was shut. In the end, we settled for garlic bread and cheesy chips from a pizza place near Pensford. Once home, it felt like I’d never been away: the dogs bounded up to say hello; the house was chilly as always and beautifully decorated - I relaxed instantly, weeks of stressful lesson planning melting away. My little sister, Poppy, had made me a welcome home poster and Mum had tidied my room. It was so good to be home.

My first full day was jam-packed, I got my hair cut (a present from my auntie and uncle – thank you again!) at Hair by Knight in Whitchurch, I definitely recommend Lucy, she’s amazing! Then I went to see my grandparents, did a bit of shopping and drinking with my granddad and then treated myself to a two-hour treatment at England’s Pamper Room: full Swedish body massage and a luxury facial was just what I needed to start the holidays off with a bang.

I spent Friday night back at The Carpenters Arms where I work in Stanton Wick and it was lovely to see everyone, I did some more drinking there too! Saturday daytime, I went to Chepstow with some old school friends for lunch, it was lovely to catch up with them all, even though I don’t see them often enough it’s always such a giggle. Saturday night, Molly and I went into town for a much needed night out and some more drinking…She did my make up and I think I looked pretty good, even if I do say so myself (she’s a talented girl - check her out ).

The days leading up to Christmas were a blur of last minute shopping, seeing more friends and family, drinking more wine and cider than I thought was humanly possible, cleaning the house while cramming in festive films and songs! I loved every second of it though; I was in a constant state of happiness and just could not stop smiling, I was at home, surrounded by people that I love and could not get enough of it. I think I irritated some family members by being in such a buzzing good mood when they were a bit touchy – I’m sorry!

Christmas Eve came and I was like a little girl all over again (except that I had the obligatory couple of festive drinks), I helped my mum get Christmas dinner ready, I made my own veggie stuffing and we laid the table all ready for the next day. We played a game that night, just the six of us, and I think it was my favourite part of my entire time at home. I can’t accurately put into words how much fun we all have when we play games together – we’re all very competitive so it gets tense, but then Molly would say something silly and we’d be rolling about laughing, or Mum would tell Dad off for not speaking fast enough. I remember thinking in that moment that I was the luckiest girl ever, that feeling intensified when me and Poppy won for the first time in a long time.

I woke up at 6.45am Christmas Day (still in little girl mode, evidently) and I woke the other three up. Our Christmas morning routine is always the same, we take our stockings into someone’s room, sit in a circle on the floor or bed and take it in turns to open a present each. It sounds like such a simple tradition but it’s one I love and will cherish because I’m sure there aren’t many Christmases left where we will all be home.

At 7.45am we woke Mum and Dad up with coffee and thanked them for our amazing stocking presents, I’d done particularly well this year and got a groovy contact lens case among other things. We didn’t go into the front room until Mum and Dad were downstairs, another rule from when we were little that we still stick to today. This year us kids decided to give out all of our presents first so we could spoil Mum and Dad straight away.

Molly, Jack and Poppy all got me such wonderfully thoughtful presents and I was surprised how well they’d done on such small budgets – Molly got me a jumper from ‘Urban Outfitters’, Jack got me a Sherlock calendar and Chris Ramsey’s new DVD (which was super thoughtful as he’s our favourite comedian and I was unable to see his latest show live, living in Paris and all), Poppy got me some pyjama bottoms/leggings, sweets in the shape of sushi, a Game of Thrones Poster and a Michael McIntyre DVD (which I’d also got her because we’re so in sync!). Mum and Dad outdid themselves as usual and I’m in love with my new fluffy coat, leather handbag and wireless headphones.

We then went to the pub for our traditional Christmas drink, which was lovely as I got to see family who I hadn’t seen since September. Christmas dinner was delicious but slightly calmer than usual, as we had no guests for the first time in years. We then snuggled up to watch Michael McIntyre, which was great until all of us but Molly dozed off. We all woke up when the other halves Charlie and Demi turned up and we put on It’s a Wonderful Life, our favourite Christmas film that we watch every single year.

Boxing Day was spent with my Mum’s family and I was the designated driver! Driving for the first time in 3 months was scary but I didn’t crash or stall so I’m considering it a success. We went to my uncle’s and it was crazy like it is every year, there are so many of us that giving out presents takes hours. I loved everything I got so thank you so much famalan! The day after Boxing Day was spent with my Dad’s family which was equally fun and I got the best present I’ve ever, ever received from my grandparents: the Deluxe Illustrated Edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. It is gorgeous and I love it.

And that was it, Christmas was over as quickly as it had began, I left on the 28^th to go to Strasbourg for New Year and I was very sad to be leaving everyone. I had the most magical Christmas and I could not have asked for more from my friends and family. Thank you so much. It was slightly strange to be at home, and I’m sure any fellow Year Abroaders felt this way, it’s almost like my life is split completely in two now and going back home was surreal at some points. Now I’m back in Paris all I want is to be curled up on the sofa with my Mum but I’m sure the homesickness will fade soon.

Sorry that this post is essay length and if you’ve made it this far thank you very much!

Bisous à tous! xxx